Heard it in Russian a while ago, it’s one of the classics. Here’s another one:
A guy walks in a pub, sits at the table and orders a pint and a thimble of beer. Bartender gets him a pint and asks why he needs a thimble of beer. “Hold on a sec”, — replies the guy, putting an inch long little man onto the table from his pocket: “Jack, tell him about the time you told the wizard to go fuck himself”
There’s a lot longer version of that in German too, where the wizard is hard of hearing and the guy at the bar didn’t actually wish for a 30cm big person, but it’s all German puns and impossible to translate.
A sailor walks into a bar and has a really small shrunken head. The bartender out of curiosity asks “I’m sorry to pry, but how and why is your head so small?”
The sailor says "Well I was out to sea, and I saw a mermaid. She said she would grant me one wish. I said to her - Well it’s awfully lonely out here and could go for a roll in the sheets you know what I mean? But seeing as your all fish down below, how about a little head? "
Heard it in Russian a while ago, it’s one of the classics. Here’s another one:
A guy walks in a pub, sits at the table and orders a pint and a thimble of beer. Bartender gets him a pint and asks why he needs a thimble of beer. “Hold on a sec”, — replies the guy, putting an inch long little man onto the table from his pocket: “Jack, tell him about the time you told the wizard to go fuck himself”
There’s a lot longer version of that in German too, where the wizard is hard of hearing and the guy at the bar didn’t actually wish for a 30cm big person, but it’s all German puns and impossible to translate.
They have it in English too but he plays the piano.
https://xkcd.com/532/
In the German version, he’s the author Johannes Mario Simmel.
Makes me think of the one like:
A sailor walks into a bar and has a really small shrunken head. The bartender out of curiosity asks “I’m sorry to pry, but how and why is your head so small?”
The sailor says "Well I was out to sea, and I saw a mermaid. She said she would grant me one wish. I said to her - Well it’s awfully lonely out here and could go for a roll in the sheets you know what I mean? But seeing as your all fish down below, how about a little head? "