My mother used to say “If wishes were horses,” and I had no idea where that came from. I didn’t get internet until after her death in 2001. I looked up that saying and the complete version is, " If wishes were horses then beggars would ride. " Apparently, it’s a very old saying so I guess adults weren’t always gross.

I think you should call it Librarian.

I would still name him Jeremiah.

When I was 11, I was annoying my mom a lot so naturally, she lunged at me with a butchers knife.

When I was 16, she beat me in the head with her fists.

I’m 55 now and she died when I was 30. You know what’s weird? I wish she had stabbed me when I was 11. She would have had to explain that. Then again, if someone had seen her threaten me for once. My half-sister saw her beat me in the head with her fists and Mama suffered no consequences so she probably wouldn’t have then either.

You’d ban Jerrys but not Donalds?

I’ve never met a Don or Donald that was a nice person. Seriously. And I’m old.

The plan is to artificially inflate the number of users with bots to fool advertisers into thinking there are a lot more users than there really is so they’ll advertise on Reddit. This is the only thing that matters now.