have you tried using a vpn, e.g. tailscale?

extremely easy to set up, if you are a selfhost purist, there’s headscale as a direct alternative.

only really good at doing stuff in a personal workspace, not really made for exposing to the public internet, still very possible tho

equally intelligent, just in a different field. this way, you can always learn from another, while never competing with knowledge. this also means you both need to be curious and interested about each others stuff, which is just as important as intelligence.