I was always very anxious person and this anxiety really helped me to motivate myself to do anything. I would procrastinate, wait for anxiety to kick in and panicking do the thing in 1/10 of time. However after this cbd thing the anxiety no longer kicks in lmao. It is gone for real, I can’t even evoke it if I wanted. And so my career/education took a huge hit.
At first I thought this effect was because of slight amounts of THC “making me lazy”. I imagined that I got a bit addicted to it over the year of everyday full spectrum cbd usage and I got stereotypical “bum” mentality from “weed” 😅
My next step as soon as I noticed that I no longer have drive and motivation and ambition? was to just come clean off it and I did it single day, was a bit irritable and angry for a week but generally not a big deal.
So now I am months after that and I realize that there is more to this. That this anxiety that cbd killed was actually part of my coping with adhd. I mean how else explain that months after quitting I still haven’t regained my “motivation” to finish something before deadline? The anxiety just doesn’t kick in, it is gone.
Idk honestly I must find some other way because I am almost 30 and that also is some sort of deadline hopefully the anxiety kicks at birthday.
I don’t know honestly if I should celebrate my calmness and relaxation or should I curse myself for losing the coping method. I need to find another… somehow.
I guess I don’t miss panic attacks but it is hard to balance it all. Some anxiety is kind of a force that for me was propelling me forward. Now I just want to relax and chill all the timee. Sit there on the patio comfortably with beverage and just take the nature in. That doesn’t work good for me in the long run I feel.
If anxiety was your only driver you basically don’t know how to be productive without it. Productivity is a learned skill, but when you’re basically fear driven you never learn it.
So yes now you have to learn how to find self motivation and learn how to apply yourself without feeling terrible first
Basically if you did the job in 1/10ths the time when anxious you now have more time to get these things done and not in a rush. Do you tasks and feel chill about it cuz you don’t wait to the last minute.
A lot can be learnt, as I did for decades. Always obsessed to try all the various methods, and enough of them work for me, to a degree.
But I think when it has gone to the point, there is more to it. In my case, it was the ADHD. My brain did not follow through with the plan to start doing the task, always had to push through some inner “pain”, and that is not pleasant. For others, it might be depression. So I had a lot of pain just to do the highest priorities barely good enough, while a normal brain would do it all without the effort, and kick in sweet dopamine rewards after each task.