That is awful. I hope you can find relief somewhere.

I’ve been lucky and the drugs are a godsend for me, despite having the gene that makes me hyper metabolize stimulants (which basically means they don’t last long enough in my system).

It is seriously under-appreciated how awful this disorder is in the modern world - especially if you are not of the wealthier classes.

I’ve struggled a lot too. Nothing quite helps enough, which leaves me like progression blue-balled on tasks. What HAS helped the most is allowing myself to do multiple tasks at once. I write them down and just do what I feel like as they come around. I also made sure to find work that allows me to do this. So basically I built parts of my life around my adhd so that the walls I bounce off of are at least walls I need to hit.

This is without treating my sleep apnea, no therapy, and no medication. However, it has also meant having a very solid understanding of what I cope with and how I cope with it. Because I have depression separate from adhd, and anxiety which is fueled by both and some trauma, the single most effective thing I’ve ever done is take the time to truly understand each aspect.

Now I can mentally set aside my anxiety and am able to will myself to not listen to that cruel little voice. For my depression I’ve learned to accept it and work with it rather than fighting. With ADHD I adapted my circumstances rather than try to force the adhd to work with everything else. So far the only thing I haven’t found a way to do is force myself to do tasks I don’t want to do. There MUST be some reason, otherwise I’ll procrastinate.

I don’t expect any of this to help. I do hope some of it does, though. We all deserve to be able to look forward to the next day, if only a little.

I’ve been feeling this way a lot myself lately. I sympathize, it’s putting me in a bad way too