I used to drink five 24 oz. cups of coffee a day - which is about one gallon - including the last one right before I went to bed, and I never had any trouble sleeping. Your body adjusts to all kinds of ridiculous shit.

Would you think those guys would know to do something about a dude on a roof with a rifle?

I have a giant oak tree next to my house, perfectly positioned so that my house is in direct sunlight in the morning but completely shaded by the tree from noon onwards, so even when it’s 100°F outside my house doesn’t get above the low 80s. I love that tree - except for right now when I have to rake the fucking yard.

It’s a slur for Asians, more specifically Vietnamese. I can actually trigger my coworker to say it, by merely mentioning that I like Chinese food.

Even before AI, I definitely encountered people writing things on their CV with no actual idea about them.

I’ve actually done more than one phone interview where I would ask a question and then hear either keyboard tapping or multiple people whispering (or both) in the background during the long pause before the interviewee answered. It was hard to not just laugh and hang up on them.

I will never implement a sort IRL

My answer to “what’s the best sorting algorithm” is “the SORT BY clause in SQL”.

I retired as a programmer five years ago and now I drive a school bus. The difference in acceptable workplace behavior is pretty stark. In my software companies, nobody ever came anywhere close to saying anything even vaguely racist; meanwhile in the bus garage people routinely use the n-word and the g-word. And it’s not like this is Mississippi or anything - this is a suburb of Philadelphia where the entire transportation department would probably be sacked if parents were ever to become aware of how their bus drivers talk.

At my last company, they usually gave end-of-the-year bonuses instead of raises. They were pretty generous, usually amounting to about half of our annual salaries, but it of course prevented us from being guaranteed that level of compensation the following year. That’s why I always describe bonuses as raises followed by pay cuts.

I once quit my job at a software company I really hated. They were desperate to keep me around for the projects I was leading so they asked if I would work hourly for a while. I quoted them a go-fuck-yourselves hourly rate which they immediately agreed to, which made me even more angry about my prior years of poor compensation. I worked under this agreement for about half a year and further improved my effective hourly rate by not working very hard.

Whenever I go out to dinner with my octogenarian parents, at the end of the meal my mother always says “well, I hope we can do this again some time” in front of the waitress using her best “you’re a neglectful son” frail old woman tone of voice. I live with my parents.

She looks like she’s having nunavut.

The interior of well-built igloos was usually in the 60s (F). Quite cozy considering it’s the fucking Arctic Circle.

It’s funny how people who get their news exclusively from their Facebook feeds have never heard of Cambridge Analytica. I can’t imagine how that could happen.

I’m a school bus driver and I had to ban the singing of Christmas songs on my bus before Thanksgiving. Naturally the little bastards ignore this, just like they ignore my injunction against singing Taylor Swift songs. Thank god T-Swiffer has never done a Christmas album.

You misspelled “harvest” and “organs”.

What is your area? I’ve lived in about 20 US states, in cities and rural areas, and it’s always been 1 cop per vehicle.

You’re thinking of cop shows from the '70s and '80s, not reality.

I don’t want to be the guy defending Hitler or Jeffery Dahmer, but

I’m a school bus driver and I regularly get infuriated by people who drive past me when I have my red flashers on and stop sign out, wishing there was a cop around. Only once so far have I gotten my wish … and unfortunately it was the cop driving past me at 40 mph just as some of my kids were about to cross the road. I looked down and saw him with his phone in his right hand and his left hand on the wheel, not paying the slightest attention to what was in front of him.

I’m lucky he didn’t run over any kids, because I probably would have gotten shot.

I genuinely think a system that just selected people at random for political offices would work better than the current system.