“There’s a horse. In the hospital.”

No I don’t! I tell the truth!

Bluetooth speaker? No! Homemade PVC pipe passive amp? Yes!

Damn moonspeak!

Better for what? I only listen to mp3s I’ve got stored on my phone; I use BlackPlayer for that, and I love it. For streaming music purposes… I dunno, I never got into that racket.

Those are some very specifically-drawn dildos.

Probably The Asylum.

Admittedly, The Asylum has a quite a few rooms within it, but I’d say that the antechamber of The Asylum that abuts the outer wall to Outside comprises the majority of the surface of the Earth and its atmosphere, so that’s a pretty big room.

Did you see what he did to Dr. Dugong?!

This is literally the backstory of Blue Submarine No. 6

Looks like one of those mechanical cancer SCPs.

At one point when I was in my mid to late-twenties, my workplace’s neighbor had their sprinkler system fail and flood their business. It was so bad that a bunch of water seeped under the adjoining wall and we had about a half an inch of water across a third of our fairly large store. There were maybe a dozen or so of us working there at the time, and we all got called in to rapidly move merchandise out into a big truck so that it wouldn’t get spoiled by the damp air before the remediation guys could do their thing.

So there’s all of these people, most of them younger than me, but not by a lot, running back and forth with crates of merchandise, and I looked around and immediately saw how chaotic and inefficient it was.

So I said, “Okay, you stand by the truck. You stand by the front door, you stand just inside. You stand a little further in than that. The first person just picks up a crate, and we bucket brigade it all out to the truck.”

It was an obvious solution, and it made the work go by so much faster and easier, but apparently I was the only one who thought to do it. I realized that in that moment, in a moderately large group, I was the most responsible adult in the room.

And I’m pretty sure that was when my childhood ended.

Oddly enough, it’s three seashells, and everyone knows how they work.

The theory I heard on the Strict Scrutiny podcast is that the 5th Circuit exists to write atrocious opinions on terrible rulings so that the Supreme Court can make rulings that are only 85% as horrible as that so the SC can seem more reasonable by comparison.

How about…

that they are endowed by their Creator with possess certain unalienable Rights

I know how to enunciate, speak with a voice supported by my diaphragm, and increase the intensity of my speaking voice without actually yelling. It’s incredibly useful. Virtually no one ever misunderstands me on the phone. I can have a conversation in a loud crowded place. I’m actually fairly conflict-averse, but when I need to “switch on,” I can usually short-circuit people’s inclination to argue by using a more focused voice.

Everyone should take a decent Acting 101 class where they teach you these skills.

Just a couple of judicious edits…

We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men persons are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness.–That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, --That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it.

And the Carolina Squat!

I thought that was the sort of thing that the government mandated companies had to do in a controlled and transparent fashion. I wouldn’t have thought that the NTSB would allow a vehicle to be registered without a thoroughly vetted crash testing procedure.

I needed a white karate gi for a Street Fighter Halloween costume, so I went to the local school and bought one, and while I was at it I bought a black one too, in case I ever wanted to be a ninja. Then I started wearing the black karate pants as pajamas.

That was over twenty years ago. Those same black karate pants are still my favorite pajamas. In-fucking-credible.

The fashion world is in a war on pockets, so they can sell more handbags. The fewer and smaller pockets we have, the more accessories we need to buy. First they came for women’s pockets. Now they’re trying to make cargo shorts unacceptable for the same reason.