OMG you made me audibly giggle

Cartoonist had to be OSHA compliant.

As an American with no social skills whatsoever, I get confused & annoyed when people offer me a beverage when I arrive at their house. Like why do they think I’m suddenly thirsty?

I like the businesses that ask you for your email address and they send you a code and then you put that code into their box and they do a new one every time like that, so there’s never a password required.

We all get excited when we see our dream home until the increasing mortgages & property taxes hit us

Wow, I’m blocking you. Hey everybody block this guy so everything he does will never be seen.

When I first started this job they did not tell me this food was deducted from our paycheck whether or not we even step foot into the cafeteria, so when I looked at my pay stub a few months into my employment, was a little surprised but then realized based on what I’ve learned about human nature over the years, when people receive something for free they tend to appreciate it less, and abuse/misuse even disrespect such privileges, so I think it’s appropriate that we pay for this food. It only breaks down to $5.50 a day* for all you can eat buffet so it’s a pretty damn good deal as long as we use it because again, pretty sure they deduct the cafeteria fee from our paychecks whether or not we ever step foot in there.

• I did the math, I’ve only worked 28 days this year so far and they’ve deducted total $155.13 from my pay for the cafeteria this year so it breaks down to about $5.50 a day.

This job is at a m/billionaires club, so there’s a huge kitchen constantly churning out 5-star meals to the m/billionaires, with plenty overflowing to the employee cafeteria. But ain’t nothing come for free! We employees sacrifice $30 deducted per paycheck for this food.

Ugh that website is blinding me! Why isn’t dark mode working on my Firefox extension?!

Do they generate more money when we watch YouTube shorts?

Something about your comment being skimmed quickly made me think “crime…murder…basement…”

Sweeeet

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That looks like the nature trail system that weaves throughout Fairfax county Virginia

Wow you’re in the backyard of a house in a tropical paradise. Is that an airbnb? Or are you visiting family or friends who live in a tropical Paradise

Here’s the most recent photo in my camera roll 🤷🏼‍♀️. In fact it’s the ONLY photo currently on my camera roll since I moved everything to my external hard drive a couple days ago to free up memory. My job has employee buffet every day all day long, so here’s my lunch break and I was so glad they had leftover omelets & bacon from this morning and I was texting with my boyfriend and he asked me what I was doing so I took a picture of this to show him what I was doing at the moment:

Hey I’ve heard that we can’t obtain that anywhere. It’s pretty rare.

Yes I know anesthesiologists are trained to keep people talking to gauge the moment patient goes under, and they can steer the conversation any direction they please, so it’s really sus he chose to take it THERE.

Furthermore my surgery was being performed in a hospital in California not far from the heart of the entertainment industry, and although The Cosby Show was regularly filmed in a studio in Brooklyn New York, God only knows where Bill Cosby was obtaining his date rape sedatives.

I’ve had plenty of years to turn this over in my mind, who knows if my own doctor may have been involved in providing sedatives to Bill cosby, or at least aware of Bill Cosby’s shenanigans long before anyone else knew.

Again maybe pure coincidence he was just providing chit chat about the most popular TV sitcom at the time, and yes I did have an opinion of Bill Cosby & the Cosby Show in 1989, but didn’t have enough time to formulate a response before going under anesthesia. I did watch the show regularly and enjoyed it but had never given a thought to “Do I like Bill Cosby?” until that moment my anesthesiologogist* asked me that question.

• (LOL look how I spelled that word 🤣 Where is autocorrect when we actually need it? But sure autocorrect has no problem changing “were” to “we’re,” and "ill " to “I’ll,” and “too” to “to.” Autocorrect always trying to make fools of us.)