Getting bottom surgery was the single best decision I have made in my entire life. It saved my life. I wouldn’t be here without having gotten it.

You are not taking up space in this community Miisha, not at all. You are welcome here. This community is here to support you as much as every other transfeminine person. Your presence is not detrimental, it has been enriching. My decision to add a rule about labeling vent posts was not motivated by any one person. It is a choice I have made after a long time moderating this community and listening to a lot of feedback.

I have been diagnosed with borderline personality disorder before. I have dealt with severe bottom dysphoria, severe depression, self harm, suicidal ideation, intense highs and lows, ive dealt with these things all my life. Believe me when I say this, I very very strongly empathize with you. You are not alone. My heart goes out to you. I’m glad that we can be here to support you.

If you wouldnt mind putting vent in the subject line, it would be appreciated. Please dont take this as me saying that you are unwelcome here or that you have been doing anything wrong Miisha.

This community exists to support you too. And I do not at all want to make you feel scrutinized or disliked or out of place. You’re a very sweet girl and I know that youre going through a lot right now. It’s alright to come here for support.

Hi Miisha, I’m sorry to hear you’re having a difficult time right now. You are not a man sweetheart.

Please take some time to contact a crisis hotline to talk with someone. Life doesn’t have to be so painful. You need to talk with someone.

Ive been there before sis. I did all the research, worked out how long id have to get to a hospital and still make it out alive, all of it.

It’s not a line of thought worth entertaining. You need to shut it down when it starts. You need to be seeking professional support for thoughts like this.

Currently going through a breakup thats leaving me very isolated too. I’m sorry you’re going through it sis. It’s awful.

I do not necessarily feel that it’s use in this context is rule breaking. If it was being used to denigrate women as a whole, and not to express some anger at one woman in particular, that would be different.

Her status as a woman herself does not make the action harmless, just less harmful owing to her own lack of power in the patriarchal power structure.

I’m not the biggest fan of the word myself, but I don’t personally feel that solely use of the term itself by a woman constitutes a violation of the rules against bigotry. It’s pretty common parlance and while again I do not particularly like it, and even I personally feel it is too connected with gender based violence against women, I think it is enough of a grey area to be comfortably outside any kind of rule breaking. Add in the fact that OP is herself a woman and, yeah.

I’m thinking more on this, but for now am leaving this up as is.

This is a supportive community. People coming here are seeking support not asking to have their morality judged. You do not know this person. You do not know the circumstances of their daily life. You do not know the ultimate context through which these actions have taken place.

Your comment is not supportive. I will now be removing it and giving you a temporary ban to end this dialog. In the future please follow the rules of this community.

Edit: i see you edited your comment. I will allow it to remain with the changes.

Is there some reason you’re taking such a combative stance with this user?

Seriously you clearly have an angle here but. There’s no reason to communicate it so aggressively. Revise your wording or I’m taking this comment down.

Nbd, thank you ^^

Please tag this post as NSFW :)

You are a woman. You have every right to call yourself one.

A lot of people have said a lot of great things here. But I wanted to add a bit.

Firstly, you deserve to love the body you inhabit. You deserve to feel empowered by your body, delighted by your appearance, and enjoy the experience of being you. Everyone is entitled to that. And plenty of men love being men, they love the way they look, they feel empowered and joyous with their bodies and their presentations.

You used the word “fine” to describe your body, and “I dont really mind” about how you look. It just doesnt have to be that way. You can find joy in your own skin and in your own presentation. What that looks like for you is based on how you feel. For me that was embracing my femininity and allowing myself to be girly and to show my girly side to the world. That saved my life. Genuinely. I wake up every day and get to love the woman I am today. I spent years of my life hating the way I looked. I made the decision to pursue my own happiness because I deserve to be happy.

You deserve to be happy too. You deserve to love who you are. You deserve to feel great joy in your body. It should empower and uplift you, instead of passively existing alongside you.

Second, people transition at every age and can pass. I also didnt think I would ever pass. It did happen for me, and it can happen for you. Women come in every shape and size and they always have.

And lastly, how does it feel seeing yourself in male terms versus female ones? How would you feel being called a wife/daughter/sister? How does it make you feel to be called a woman? Gender euphoria is one of the most wonderful things I’ve ever felt. Before I came out I remarked how being called someone’s son, boyfriend, nephew, brother, it used to fill me with dread. Being told I was a young man, that I would one day be a husband. It made me feel sick. The opposite, being called a woman, a daughter, a niece, a sister, made me feel like I had an actual place in the world and a real future.

Post is approved.

This is something I’ve wondered back and forth over the life cycle of this community and admittedly have had to deal with before. I recently did remove a post from another day that crossed that line of being harm causing. I’ve made actions like that before, but usually I only step in when a user becomes repetitive in this particular way.

There’s a balance somewhere between “this community is for all transfeminine people” and “this community must be safe and healthy for its users”. I’ve changed my mind before on exactly where that line is, and in light of your thoughts on this am considering it again.

I have edited my above comment to use cele, thanks.

I believe cele are referring to the URL of the community being mtf. This community was initially created during the third-party apps exodus from reddit. I created it to function similarly to r/mtf on reddit. Early on in the community’s history I held a poll and decided to rename it Transfem. It’s been called that ever since.

Transmedicalism is banned in this community, and I believe on lemmy.blahaj.zone more broadly. All transfeminine people are welcome here and anyone creating hostility towards transfeminine people will be subject to moderator action.

Edit: Ammended pronoun