My wife is also picky with thirds

sign me up captain

People block .ml, because while some decent communities may exist, their admins will see your comments elsewhere, then find any/all comments on their instance and either harass you or ban you.

I’m not sure what you mean. If someone harasses you then you can just block them. If you block an instance it’s users can still see your posts elsewhere and comment can’t they? I don’t politically align with the Lemmy devs but lemmy.ml is their instance and just like piefed, mbin, and others they can run their personal instance as they see fit. Isn’t that the whole point of federation?

lol all they did was disagree with you relax

What’s wrong with people expressing their opinion?

i’m new to my instance that isn’t defederated from anything and I see an awful lot of whining about .ml hexbear and lemmygrad but i haven’t seen the users do anything. i’m more annoyed by the whiners so far.