“WON’T SOMEBODY THINK OF THE CHILDREN DO YOU WANT THE TERRORISTS TO WIN?? Now shut up and give us your private data and let us control your access to ‘your’ games.”

• Sony boss

“Fuck that particular con, I have a president in my pocket now.”

Or powerwalked really fast.

At least they can finally admit that they are not a car company.

Seems a bit far-fetched.

I mean Palpatine is a well-respected politician. Their kind wouldn’t lie. He has said himself that his side are the good guys, what more proof do you want?

Eh, just throw them over your shoulder and you’re good to go.

Your mom.

Wait, that doesn’t make any sense.

Wait, it not masking any sense has never deterred anyone from making a your mom joke, so it’s fine after all.

Wait, that’s actually a pretty grim appraisal of the state of what is considered to be humorous.

In that case, I’ll go with my sweatpants instead, if I may.

“Of course it was cost-intensive to program an engine that will render every single eyelash at a resolution that will require the player to buy an additional graphics card for each eyelash concurrently on-screen, but now we only need twelve and a half billion people to buy, no, what am I saying, to pre-order and pre-pay the Ultra-Super-Deluxe-Collector’s Edition and we’ll start to turn a profit.”

• current AAA gaming

“How would you like to waste this particular turn?”

Potayto, potahto, all depends on which reality you choose to inhabit.

These are called schools and universities and whatnot.

Well, finally. There are still so many unused seconds in a day where the consumer cattle is not forcibly blasted with advertisements, it brings tears to the eyes…

Honestly, if your goals include conserving an inhabitable environment for the human race in the future, conserving a semblance of wealth for everyone but the top, like, dozen people on Earth, conserving the rights of workers and consumers against an overwhelming opposition, conserving democracy for future generations (and all that against the best efforts of a supposedly “conservative” party), your parents may have been right.

Trump sues mirror for making him look ugly.

“Wouldn’t it be great if everybody gave my AI company money?”

“For doing what?”

“… I don’t follow.”

“Okay, but I don’t see why we can’t revisit my suggestion to send the Pinkertons to all owners of the original version and have them break their kneecaps if they don’t give us all the money they have.”

“With all due respect sir, that is… Have you read the brief that Legal sent you on that matter?”

“I skimmed it… but I’m not convinced.”

They’re instead letting an AI generate their stock price. It is a number now.

The bridge crew all fall out of their seats, some consoles explode and one ensign will have to go to sick bay with burns on their- oh. Oooh, nevermind.

Sacre bleu! It’s almost like the free speech warrior does not know that the other aspect of free speech besides speaking freely is being able to choose whom to listen to! Does he think free speech means being forced to listen to specific people speak?

Surprised. Pikachu. Face.

Yes they can. Unless they charge 70 bucks for the base game every 3 hours now and every few minutes, they release a paid DLC with one (1) new added name.