IMO the person doing the cooking should get to decide. Like any household chore, you don’t tell the person doing it how to do it, you appreciate them doing it. Now asking them, would they make such and such how you like sometimes, is reasonable. Insisting isn’t.
The problem is, they know a lot more about their hobby than you do, and probably have strong opinions about things about it that you would have no idea about. So it’s a good way to end up getting them something they don’t really want.