Would one of those “Hate is not welcome here” signs prevent them from entering, or does that depend on if the vampire hates their victim? I don’t hate the cow in my cheeseburger, so I’m guessing not.

Contact the Electronic Frontier Foundation (EFF) and they can probably help point him to a group interested.

If you are and you admit it, you’ll get more grace from intelligent people. Sometimes.

86.9% of all statistics are made up on the spot.

This won’t help your mom, she won’t change her mind and will try to drag the argument or will just attack until everything is destroyed. But here’s a clear rebuttal of the idea.

The failure of demanding everyone showing worth is determining what is worth and who gets to define and assign it. Every petty warlord believes they are the one to decide… and oh gee, amazing how they have the most worth.

If you tell your mom you will only accept her argument if she accepts you have more worth than her - and demonstrates it to you every day - it will probably make her go no contact until she needs you again for emotional affirmation.

Depression is real, I don’t have it but it’s real and I have friends that deal with it as part of their lives. It sounds like getting out of your mom’s sewer might help, but you might need medication as well.

Only Jesus takes the wheel. God is his copilot.

Santlantis

Our Onion is the OC for all my satirical news articles. Little things like that are the seeds of a community.

Look we have enough participation trophies, we don’t want to bog down the ceremonies with another 400 awards. Also some of these people will be limping, possibly in wheelchairs. And god forbid we have a shooting at the event and we didn’t bring enough medals.

I kinda feel like this is sarcasm but I’m not even sure any more. How did we get here?

Sir, where is the meth.

She probably has a great serpentine, too.

A bit of a dry spell, huh?

I’ve started making claim email chains with the state ombudsman cc’d in the first email. Saves so much time.

That’s correct. Everyone here making six figures will have some form of asset they could cash in if the chips came down. I sometimes feel underwater, but if I made painful cuts, I could survive. Real Americans are living day to day knowing if things get bad, they might have to sell more blood.

Every drop of water makes the river, don’t forget you’re a part of the world, and you’re important, even if it doesn’t always feel that way.

Janet, I think someone set your language to angelic, fix that please.

This is a charged issue, people aren’t downvoting you so much as expressing anger at what’s happening. Good use of nottheonion.

When I click on your name, I see you are here to argue.

Fucking our sharks, you mean.

Mostly I try to make people laugh, but more of an awkward laugh.