36 | nb transfem (he/they) | furry | anticapitalist | antifascist
ah well hey, that’s rather encouraging. thank you for sharing. i’ll need to talk all of this through with a therapist. i know that is my best way forward… but it’s challenging to even start. i’m resistant to learning more about myself. life is already difficult.
i don’t have any connection to womanhood though, it simply feels like a concept i can’t obtain and not because society tells me or because i reject it within myself, but because i don’t know what it means to be a woman in the same sense i don’t know what it means to be a man. i reject “man” as a label for myself because it is prescribed to and demanded of me thanks to my birth sex, but “woman” isn’t so it doesn’t upset me to be thought of as one. however, i don’t know what feeling like a woman is if i wouldn’t want the body of one, the roles of one, or the social standing of one. i don’t think of myself as having breasts or a vagina; just more feminized and less masculinized in the right areas. i don’t want to be expected to adhere to female standards because i view them as restrictive and they don’t feel fulfilling or affirming; however, i like the idea of being a stay-at-home partner who cooks and cleans, but that is hardly reserved for women. i don’t want the social status of a woman either because i want to be seen as “one of the boys,” but girly… almost tomboyish? kinda something in the middle there.
i don’t feel like i’m appropriating womanhood, i feel no connection or pull towards it. i want to be a femininely-shaped, feminine-appearing male-bodied person. but… i know you can be that as a transwoman too. you don’t have to give up anything or do anything to be a transwoman. but i would be very happy, i think, if my body were more “womanly” and i had femininizing features. idk lol everything sucks.
i feel like the changes on HRT at 36 would be limited, but also i’m not interested in passing like a cis woman. i more want to pass as feminine for myself. right now i barely feel it at all.
I think what you describe has to do with hanging too tight to the gender binary. Once you realize gender isn’t binary, you realize it’s natural and normal feeling how you are feeling at any particular point.
i am non-binary. i don’t see myself as hanging too tightly.
ideally i would look as close to a woman as possible, but i know my male features will always be a tell. i don’t mind that, though. it actually is something i find affirming. i think visible trans people are beautiful.
so… firstly, no, i haven’t seen a gender affirming therapist. it is something i plan on doing. but secondly, i have been more open to the idea of being a transwoman as i’ve gotten happier recently and i still don’t see it within myself. perhaps i have it stuffed down because i actively repressed it. trying HRT even temporarily is too scary to consider tbh. i don’t want to.
What does it feel like to be a man, or a woman? It kind of doesn’t.
yeah… i think day-to-day is much like that; you feel no real positive affirmation of your identity, you just exist.
lol my boyfriend jokingly calls me a tomboy and it makes sense yeah. strange! i do feel rather fem but in a male sense, i guess?
thank you… i appreciate that! i guess i wanted to encourage a conversation around he/they transfem experiences. but i’m happy to see this isn’t too uncommon as i thought and the community is supportive as a whole.
None of this seems at odds with being transfem, tbh, and seems fairly typical.
ah, see… i guess i don’t know. i see the majority of transfems use feminine pronouns and refer to themselves as women. i wasn’t sure if my experience was atypical or typical or what lol.
For years I basically detested all pronouns because nothing felt right
that is why i struggled until my early 30s before accepting being non-binary as an experience of gender, then it took a little bit longer to settle on transfem as a gender identity.
I highly recommend at trying HRT
i don’t know about HRT. i have thought about it a lot; just to get some kind of feminizing blockers and whatnot, but i simply can’t run the risk of it impacting my already severely impacted sex drive. the medications i’m on make it very difficult to maintain and reach orgasm, and the sex i have is one of the only things i enjoy about my male body. i don’t have any genital dysphoria, if anything, i enjoy the parts i have and how i fit with the men i pursue. i worry HRT would reduce my ability to perform and that wouldn’t be worth it for me.
Even though everyone sees me as a woman now, it doesn’t mean I have learned to fully see myself as a woman - that is happening slowly over time, esp. as I live life as a woman.
that is truly wonderful. i am glad you are achieving what you want! it’s gotta be surreal lol. i don’t think i’m a woman… idk though? i really just don’t see it. i did oppress myself forever so i could be blinded… but i do enjoy the life of a gay guy in terms of romance and sex… so idk what that means.
many countries need to go back to reasonable inconvenience for superior and ethical product. same-day shipping is accelerating the speed of climate change so no you don’t get to have it actually. no, fruits and vegetables are not available 24/7, seasons matter again. etc and etc. we need to go back to all of this. we have to reduce the strain.
good
have a friend
you lost me
“Good Luck, Babe!”
yeah, use engines like startpage.com instead.
wow, i did not know that. thank you for elaborating. i looked into it further and found SCOTUS asshole Roberts: "The Constitution supplies no objective measure for assessing whether a districting map treats a political party fairly.” lol cool, cool…
Gerrymandering is a crime. We just don’t consider what’s going on to be legally gerrymandering for some bullshit fuck ass reason. There’s only been a few cases of gerrymandering being caught in a legal sense. It is largely ignored.
edit: a bit wrong here but whaddya know it’s because our laws are not transparent
i see what you’re saying, definitely, and i have taken several steps myself at affirming my identity. i also legally changed my name a while ago to a more androgynous spelling of my already-chosen name. i dress femininely in private and around my boyfriend and friends and stores nearby lol. i try to be me in little pieces. i don’t know how far i think this is going to go… i don’t know if i’m a transwoman or this is just how it’s going to be for me; a transfem non-binary person who views himself as male but womanly. it’s not like that isn’t possible.