“What stops you electrifying an entire lake?” she wondered.

“Randall will know”

whatif@xkcd.com

Cannot believe they didn’t do a background check on Malcolm Tucker’s estranged nephew.

Are you the evil twin to the Derwent Valley mayor

I like that the suicide prevention number is wrong. It should still dial, but funny.

I deleted Facebook, messenger and WhatsApp. Anyone who doesn’t want to use signal has my number to SMS text. Which is shit and chargeable. They may come around.

In the 90s I was a teenager and I took a friend with me visiting family in Japan. I can’t read more than about 100 kanji, probably less now.

We found a vending machine, a small one not the usual fridge size ones, just on the street. I was trying to figure out what it was selling, it didn’t look like anything I recognised. We both smoked so I could just about recognise the words for pregnancy and something negative or anti, like a health warning.

We were there for a good 10 minutes and a few elderly people had taken notice of us and were giving us weird stares, proper WTF faces. My virgin ass finally figures out they’re condoms, the kanji are the equivalent of Contra, Ceptive, and we bolt.