Plot twist: it destroys your child. Not physically, morally.

With these new indestructible powers, your child enslaves the entirety of mankind. Forced to adopt a bewildered child’s point of view, humans spend all day with their families and friends, get ample sleep, share food and housing, laugh, cry, and find unbeatable protection just by being near those they love.

People love and lift each other to new heights of unshackled peace. Sciences and arts flourish and humanity enters unprecedented phases of discovery, health, and empathy.

But because your child is the villain of this story, all the politicians and capitalists declare war on your indestructible child. They all lose and die. The villain wins. Everyone celebrates.

The end.

How do they even afford to eat???

Is it more than 3?

He looked much better after putting on a few pounds and beating the shit out of a blind lawyer

Great, another thing I’ll never have…

I feel like my day isn’t complete until I’ve seen one of your game screenshots. I actually have nearly zero investment in the games you’re actually playing, I just appreciate knowing that things are still going well enough for you that you get some time to play a game and post.

I hope you have a good life, thank you for bringing a warm glow into mine.

I really don’t care what starts the revolution, but I’d be pleased as punch if history books of the future had to note that gamers ate the first CEO after he shit on their favorite devs

I say I’m sick, boss doesn’t care

That’s why I squirt a shit all over his chair

If you create a new community, someone has to maintain it, it needs to be monitored and moderated. It can even outlive the interests of its creator, thus forcing someone else to inherit these headaches.

So, the joke was that I was equating the inconveniences of creating a new community to the way that a child can become burdensome on a community because “well, now someone has to care for this.”

It sounds like you completely got the joke and that the real problem here is that it was barely funny enough to make you exhale sharply through your nose. The good news is that no one is gonna fault you for my frequently unfunny sense of humor.

This one was more meant to make people go “hmmm” than “haha.”

@gnutrino@programming.dev beat me to it. I was gonna reply “it’s because we don’t like introducing new problems into the world.”

I’m correcting my father’s greatest mistake by not having kids. Problem solved!

And when you do die, you won’t see it coming!

He broke his word before they finished signing their agreement

I really don’t wanna upvote this, but I can’t not

I already didn’t!

My sarcasm might not have translated well, but “couch” is correct. Even my '86 Crown Vic that drove like a boat felt more sporty than any EV I’ve been in.

That being said, I crave the R3X and imagine all of it’s “sportiness” will be… underwhelming.

I’ve never driven anything more sporty than a mid-'90s Porsche Boxer or Hyundai Elantra N. But the most connected I’ve ever felt to the road was in an early 2000s Miata.

Anyway, uhhh… Something something fuck you CyberTruck

I’m hoping it doesn’t feel like an EV to drive but a good sports car instead!

What the fuck is that supposed to mean?? Why, the CyberTruck alone can tow a mustang 10 bajillion miles in less time than a mustang can wrap itself around a pole near a Cars and Coffee

Engineer: I created new technology that can make us rich beyond our wildest dreams because of the number of people it’ll benefit!

Billionaires: Let’s tweak that a little. I’d rather decide who has to be poor

Because of the sun doing what it is, chucking our worldly problems onto it will only make it more sun