Title says it all
The dumbest joke I know is a knock knock Joke and goes like this. You first have to make the person you’re telling the joke to start saying “knock knock”, then you you say, “who’s there?”.
Proceed to watch the other person confused about what to do next 😅
Usually, the most effective way is to say, “Wanna hear a knock knock joke?”
“Sure!”
“Okay, you start.”
Has about a 90% success rate.
I asked my North Korean friend how things are back at home.
He said he can’t complain.
An underage weasel walks into a bar and the bartender says “sorry, I can’t serve you alcohol, you’re too young”. The weasel replies that’s ok, I’ll drink something else. The bartender says “well I have water, soda pop, and cranberry juice, what’ll it be?”
“Pop!” goes the weasel
A duck walks into a bar wearing one shoe. The bartender says “hey buddy, you lost a shoe” and the duck says “nah, I found one!”
Him: Hey, when you’re out camping, do you enjoy it when you wake up in the morning and water vapor condensers on your lenses?
Me: DEW EYE?!?
Two fish in a tank.
One turned to the other and asked; “How do we drive this thing?”
Timing.
What is the most important aspect to remember when telling a joke?
I got a new dog. He’s a paranoid retriever. He brings back everything because he’s not sure what I threw him.
“My fake plants died because I did not pretend to water them.”
-Mitch Hedberg
what’s red and smells like blue paint?
red paint.
I broke a mirror in my house, and you’re supposed to get seven years bad luck, but my lawyer thinks he can get me five.
Why couldn’t the lifeguard save the drowning hippie?
He was too far out, man.
I was Caesarean born. Can’t really tell… Although, whenever I leave a house I go through the window.
Why did the surgeon hate performing toe amputations?
…he was lack-toes intolerant.
This one is a true story:
I was in Dallas Love Field with my daughter several years ago.
I said, “You know, this is where John Kennedy landed only a few hours before he was killed. Show some respect and try not to make an ass…assin of yourself.”
Roughly fifteen years later her eyes still haven’t come back from rolling into the back of her head
I’m still proud of myself for coming up with that little airport joke on the fly
