Worth noting: if you’re giving a blowjob to someone who, at any point between shower time & said blowjob, has sat down to use the toilet at least once… Your mouth is one degree of separation from the inner/underside of that same toilet bowl. (Best case: it’s one you know is clean, but what’re those odds?)

Let that simmer a bit. 🤔

Lowering the cognitive barrier for use is not a feature in this political climate — especially when anti-intellectualism is a Fascism 101 pre-req. 🤢

I mean… If they could sleep through that… 🫡

Don’t worry, folks! That’s not going to immediately be used for political fraud & culture-wide psyops. They promise.

Hey, be fair: that one’s waaay smarter than AI.

That’s only two of them, yep.

^jesusfuck

How much did their promo team spend?! This shit is tenacious of late.

No one. Gives. A fuck. About. Either of those knobs.

Least of all: them. 🤌🏼

(to the intern stuck w/ posting this shit, day after day: you can do better, and deserve better. be the change you need.)

And he loves every single one of those sparky, spastic murderballs equally. 🥰🤘🏼

Inb4 it’s confirmed to’ve been funneled into neo-nazi orgs… 😅

Seriously. This is some peak “Shush, little ones” bullshit.

Sporks get the job done better.

1. Username checks out.
2. FWIW, a certain mission in a game that came out ~10yrs ago has a CEO that replies with almost exactly that, when confronted with proof they’d knowingly killed a farming settlement for profit.

This isn’t a new excuse, and shouldn’t simply be lampooned. They, and others like them, will do worse than repeat it unironically — they will normalize it.

Sounds like a precursor symptom of what Brian Thompson suffered from.

FWIW, it’s about as close to “all natural” as US corps feasibly get (see link), but I totally hear ya. 🤓

Yes.

Just, don’t use it on active acne! Those flare-ups are often infected and that candy-flavored wax stick immediately becomes a conveniently-capped petri dish of your epidermal flora chaos, ready for deployment on new battlegrounds. 🤢

Those sound like acquaintanceships and are literally supposed to be practice for the real thing. Keep firing, choom.

FYI: Simple Green is a cleaner and melts bugs in real-time (ngl, kinda morbid, watching them contort in obvious agony) — with the added bonus of it being prohibitive to the same returning to the area anytime soon. (Pro-tip, I’ve found it to still be super effective at dilutions of 1:5-10, and a 5gal jug goes for ~$30.)

Oh, and PSA: many common ant species found in homes are “opportunistic” nesters that will split off from the main community when it suffers sufficient losses… Thereby multiplying the fronts on which your battle is fought as well as streamlining their troop production & resistance. 😶 Just sayin’. Do your research FIRST.

Inb4 somebody marries one. 🤢

you might be more inclined to make choices and put in the work

Fuck off, Dad! I learned it from watching you!

Also, genuinely sorry to hear about your record label and tour dates recently. ✊🏼