I have a friend who lives on the West coast of the US who refers to me as “buddy” a lot, and I don’t mention it, but it gives me the ick (she knew me pre-transition). I think she just uses it like a gender-neutral word for anyone (the way “dude” and “bro” ca be used sometimes), but I’m triggered, lol 😅
In public / with people who never knew me before transition, people will often refer to me and whoever I’m with (they’re usually women) as “ladies” (ironically my sister-in-law hates how often she is called “ladies” when she’s around me, lol).
On the phone or individually people often refer to me as “dear”. In the South, I got a lot more “sweetie”, “honey”, and even “sweet girl” and “good girl”.
What have your experiences been like (before, during, and after transition)?
My driving instructor was the only person who I can think of pre transition who called me anything specific, he called me “lad”, which I told him multiple times I didn’t like and he kept ‘forgetting’ and using it anyway :(
I’ve gotten called “that woman over there” (a conversation I overheard), and to my face, Miss and Ma’am. I also get the “ladies” thing when with others, haha!
yay, we’re ladies 👏 👏 👏
pre-transition I was mistaken for a girl from behind once and called “miss” by a customer (which caused mixed feelings for me)
but mostly pre-transition I had typical boy and man experiences: “he”, “sir”, “dude”, “bro”, etc.
post-transition it is more typical of a young woman, lots of “miss”
when I was visibly trans or people knew I was trans, I would get a lot of “they” (even though I don’t like being referred to as “they”, particularly when it indicates discomfort or uncertainty from a cis person), or people just not using gendered language for me (I think a lot of this is an attempt to be polite in the face of ambiguity about my gender - they don’t want to offend).
Ohh i just call all people who haven’t told me othereise “they” to avoid assumptions, even if their gender is ‘obvious’, I hadn’t considered people might not like that …