I’m a butch transbian. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my butch identity, and how my experiences with butchness overlaps and maybe differs in some areas to my non-transfemme butch siblings. For example:
- We’ve likely grown up with very different bodies and genitals, and that has impacted our relationship to our butchness
- Our struggle with presenting butch in a way that doesn’t get us misgendered or give us dysphoria
- Dealing with the pressure from outside transfemme circles and inside to present more feminine
- Feeling like a fraud in lesbian spaces, because I feel like I’m dressing like a “man”, despite knowing that butch identity is a whole separate thing.
- Fearing exclusion from cis lesbians, what if they think im a cis dude creeping around?
- The lack of representation for butchness in transfemmininty
- How do other butch transfemmes feel about femminine clothing?
- How do we feel about compliments? Beautiful vs handsome?
- Feeling tension between wanting to present more feminine in some ways to “escape” the masculinity I was imprisoned by growing up.
I would love to hear about any thoughts and experiences you’ve got.
It kinda feels lonely as a butch transbian. Most transfemmes go cute/floral/alternative. I love wearing my cargo shorts and pants. Tank tops that show of my impressive delts and biceps muscles. But I switch it up with dresses and skirts sometimes. Half half or full femme because I still got that need for it.
I am so grateful for the boob job that health insurance paid for. It gave me the confidence to do most of that.
I am rarely in spaces where cis lesbians are, never really interact with them. I feel a bit alien around them. I grew up very differently than them. Noone forced feminity onto me as a child.
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