I’m a butch transbian. I’ve been thinking a lot lately about my butch identity, and how my experiences with butchness overlaps and maybe differs in some areas to my non-transfemme butch siblings. For example:
- We’ve likely grown up with very different bodies and genitals, and that has impacted our relationship to our butchness
- Our struggle with presenting butch in a way that doesn’t get us misgendered or give us dysphoria
- Dealing with the pressure from outside transfemme circles and inside to present more feminine
- Feeling like a fraud in lesbian spaces, because I feel like I’m dressing like a “man”, despite knowing that butch identity is a whole separate thing.
- Fearing exclusion from cis lesbians, what if they think im a cis dude creeping around?
- The lack of representation for butchness in transfemmininty
- How do other butch transfemmes feel about femminine clothing?
- How do we feel about compliments? Beautiful vs handsome?
- Feeling tension between wanting to present more feminine in some ways to “escape” the masculinity I was imprisoned by growing up.
I would love to hear about any thoughts and experiences you’ve got.
I dunno, I’m looking at my friend who tries to look like a dominant femboy (expressing some kind of male gender while wearing a skirt, thigh-high boots, chains, and a crop top) and I don’t think he qualifies as butch but does succeed in maintaining that masculine gender while looking like a femboy. Being butch is a totally different vibe from expressing the right amount of masculinity to pass as a femboy and probably not a trans woman.
Gender is so confusing?!!!