Basically I’m like 99% sure I’m trans. If I could just magically physically be a woman right now, I would immediately, and probably never present male again.
However, I look male, I have a beard, broad shoulders, a penis, etc, and I don’t really mind either. Transitioning would be annoying and since I lived so long as a man, I’ll never pass, and I don’t like a “mixed look” at all. And yeah, I really don’t mind my body, I find men attractive, I find women attractive, I find myself attractive. I’m fine with what biology decided I should look like.
Does anyone share this kind of view on themselves? I only have tangential contact with any trans communities, and I never really see this sentiment represented.
I’ve kind of settled for a non-binary presentation in meatspace, even though I feel like I want more than that. The reason for that is my partner. She’s a straight cis woman, and she’s pretty clearly not there for a lesbian relationship; even when I femme up a little, she seems to have a hard time with it, though bless her, she tries. I’m pretty sure that, if I did transition, that’d be the end of us, and I don’t want us to end.
I’d die for that woman. In a way, I guess I am.
:(