I haven’t posted anything in a while, but a lot has happened.
- I lost my job due to a mass layoff, the timing sucked so much, but I have some runway from the severance package, so it’s not all bad.
- I got therapy after all, and it helps a bit… but I also think I need a different therapist.
- I came out to my close friend groups, and they have been very supportive.
- Voice training has been going well, I’ve made some crazy progress in only 2 months, and I have a pretty dark/raspy voice.
- Getting called she/her and my girl name (that I chose), still feels weird, giving me doubts about it all.
- Still super excited for HRT tomorrow, so… lol at the doubts.
Anyways thanks for reading all this.
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Are you doing voice training with a teacher? I want to but I’m not getting much from free YouTube stuff and I’m broke so I’ll have to wait.
It’s ok to take a little time to get used to your new name and pronouns. I felt a bit weird hearing people use she/her for me at first because I hadn’t changed my presentation much and it felt a bit like they were just humouring me. I would also internally misgender myself quite often for the first few months. You have to give yourself time to adjust.
I was riddled with doubts before I started hrt. I’m now about 3 weeks into it and I can’t imagine ever going back. I can feel things. I am capable of self love. I want to be alive now.
Give yourself some time. You’re going to be okay. We’re here to vent to and chat with. Sending love dear omelet.
Thanks I appreciate this community so much <3, and I have also misgendered myself recently, with habitual speech patterns too haha. The doubts come and go still, but it is pretty mild now. It mostly just depends on my mood.
For voice training, since I’m a research-aholic and self-motivated, I’ve found plenty of online guides for getting the fundamentals right, raising larynx, resonance, mouth/tongue position, etc.
Here’s some of the guides I’ve followed to various degrees. Warning, some are very theory heavy, but afaict it’s all pretty similar. The main thing is to get into a good daily routine with basic exercises and work your way up.
https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLkZ-3sMGEmDwlD5zNgEtWJwz8WDt6H8OZ
https://docs.google.com/document/d/1j_-8dndFzKTX0xBSF15ZEJWdw958ryh0IPKq1sz8p04
https://old.reddit.com/r/transvoice/comments/d3clhe/ls_voice_training_guide_level_1_for_mtf/
Thank you for sharing the links, I’ll save your post for if I ever feel like I’m capable of a daily routine :)
Sorry about your job, but congrats on getting on HRT and coming out to your friends!
Also yeah, my new name felt very weird for a while, but it feels much more correct now. I’m sure yours will too <3
Thanks.
It’s good to know I’m not the only one who felt initially weird about the new pronouns and name.
Yayayayyyyyy first hrt!! Always an amazing feeling ❤️❤️
Congrats about the progress, thats soooo cool haha :D
About the name: I have had this new name for like 5 years now and I have had like 5 different namrs over my life in total. Tbh, sometimes it still feels weird. Especially after I wasn’t called that for a while (since activist names exist) so I would not stress too much about it, names are all about being used to thek imo. :)
